I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
