If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
