Tell her she can't have a vagina
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
