i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
