just come out here and I will go home with you...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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