I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
