My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
