I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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