How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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