I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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