He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
