I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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