id be glad to
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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