We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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