at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
