New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
