on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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