got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
