so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize