i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
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