If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
