Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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