I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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