in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
