oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think my moral compass just broke
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