its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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