trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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