But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
