Porn is love you can see.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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