i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
