yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
