I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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