This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
