I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
