i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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