it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
