You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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