Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
