I must be too annoying 4 u.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
