i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
