I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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