Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
