She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
