after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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