ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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