Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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