i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
is wine microwaveable?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
