she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
