I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
