Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
