I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
