Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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