Betty ford says i'm here all night
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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