You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
