I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Randomize
