Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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