What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
4 words: hood of his car
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
