Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize