You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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