i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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