What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
