i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
