If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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