he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
