Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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